If a Tree Falls in the Forest, Does it Make a ...
A Tiny Socratic-like Dialogue with the Barista
[Photo 1: My office at Pepperdine University, Malibu, California (shared with Dr. David Gibson, Ph.D., who hired me right before he retired—that’s his cup and cup warmer). Published to Facebook Tuesday 30 June 2009 at 11:07 pm].
The barista asked me what I do. I didn’t have the heart to tell her I have no hope at present. So I said I teach philosophy, which is what I've mostly done my adult life.
As the expresso mashine [both misspelled on purpose, I think it’s funny] purred and whizzed while she manned it, she said, if a tree falls in the forest with no one around , does it make a sound ?
[I sighed internally. I thought, she doesn’t look this dumb. She must be flirting with me].
So I asked , if a squirrel falls from the top of the tree, way up there, as the tree is falling , and it splatters all over the forest floor—guts spewed over the trunks of the nearby trees, and not because it was shot (recall: no person is around, and only persons have guns).
[She hung on every word, her hand up on the expresso thing, waiting for it to fill the cup].
And there are squirrel guts in on every tree trunk , remember. That’s important, I continued.
[She nodded , intrigued] .
Squirrel guts are dripping from the tree trunks , I added.
[She nodded again, handing me my coffee].
Did it really make a sight? I asked .
[I took a long sip, with one eye on her demeanor , one eye on the front door].
She said, holy s— it’s the same question .
Similar, I corrected.
Yeah, she said.
[I nodded and backed away slowly, then did an about face and disappeared].
Copyright Lucas J. Mather, 2021
All Rights Reserved
Originally published to Facebook Sunday 10 Oct 2021 at 10:50pm
Dr. Lucas J. Mather is producer and host of The Republican Professor podcast. He has taught over 170 college and university Philosophy courses in Southern California over 15 years.