Professor, What's Your Name ?

First Day of Summer School in the City of Lost Angeles

Professor, what's your name?

My name is ______ .

Your name is silence?

No, because "silence" sounds like something. My name is ______ . That's how it's pronounced.

So, she said twisting her hair and suppressing a smile, it's just like, nothing?

No, "nothing" sounds like "nothing." But this is how you say my name. Ready?

Yeah.

_______.

[Entire room giggles loudly].

We are native americans, the professor said. Don't judge my culture. I opened up, I was vulnerable with you. Now you know my parents--my mom and dad--were so horrified when they first saw me, that they just told the nurse my name is _______. They made a fist, opened it, laying it parallel with the ground. Smooth. They said, his name is _______. [After a pause]. And his middle name shall be _______. And his last name ________, after his grandfather. And an eagle took me home.

And the next thing you know I woke up in college with a beer in my hand and a philosophy book in my other hand.

[The students , on break, just looked at the professor]. We've been on break 2 minutes, the professor said, and you guys haven't moved--where's the chip machines?

[And with that the students got up to get some chips and to talk with each other under the big trees outside, because the professor said, try leaving your phones on your desks and just take a break with each other. And so they did that].

The original girl came up and said, hi. What's your name? And the professor said, my name is Asher Lev just kidding. My name is Lucas Mather.

Thanks, she said, leaving her phone like everyone else did, and going outside under the very big tree.

Welcome, the professor said in a Mr. Miyagi voice.

Copyright Lucas J. Mather
All Rights Reserved
Originally posted to Facebook Monday June 11, 2018 at 6:56 pm