Tenure Colleague: but why do you need a gun ?

Mar 01, 2025

Tenure Colleague: but why , why do you need a gun??

Me: For protection and comfort. Why, why do you *need* marijuana? Why, why do you *need * an abortion?

Colleague : I need marijuana to deal with Republicans. (lol). Dude, how's a 20 year old college kid gonna take care of a baby??

Me: Oh, so "it" is a baby now. Ah.

Tenure : you know what I mean .

Me : I know biology. You're right, "it" is a little girl or a little boy--a human being. Your human being . Your boy or girl. Your baby. It's wrong to kill a human being because "you can't take care of it". Imagine if we allowed that reasoning for 4 year olds for gods sake.

Tenure : I need a joint.

Me: On your view, it's perfectly moral to light up while pregnant .

Tenure :---ugh .

Me: On my view that's child abuse. My view is superior to yours.

Tenure: God .

Me: On my view, it's perfectly moral and legal to have a gun in order to protect your child from danger . In your view that's a felony. A f***ing felony ! But you can suck your child through a vacuum, cut her up into little humans sushi pieces and then sell those pieces on the open market all on a public dime.

Tenure : Jesus!

Me: And you have the temerity to blame Jesus for that. Why don't you blame Siddhartha Gautama? Or more to the point, Satan?

Tenure : Where did you come from?

Me: Colorado.

Tenure : No, i mean how did you get hired here?

Me: Here's a question for you. How did you make it through all that grad school and never have a Republican professor? And i don't mean one of those pussy Republicans blending into the background like some kina salamander-assed bitch. I mean one that calls you out on your own bullshit. Someone who helps sharpen you , stand you up straight , dust all that MSNBC pixie dust off your clothes? How ? I mean , you have been so comfortably brainwashed .

Tenure: ---ok

Me: Time for that joint ?

Tenure : yeh wanna join me.

Me: No. Thank you , though . Tell you what. I'll compromise . The day it's not a felony for a Navy SEAL-small arms - trained veteran to conceal carry on campus in order to help protect innocent people on campus, I'll take a puff.

The Republican Professor

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