The First Day of Class
Two Types of Students
The first day of class.
The professor said, I'd like to do an icebreaker today. Last semester I did the icebreaker right before the final exam, and it really helped for our last day of class as everyone sat there silently writing until their hands fell off. Many warmly offered to pick up their neighbors’ hands until they realized that their hands, too, were just laying there on the floor, until it was just a bunch of stumps trying to turn blue book pages and a bunch of hands blocking the fire exits, every other one holding either a pencil or a pen, people arguing over whose hand was whose, some saying, "no, I had a green pen" and "that's my mechanical pencil" as evidence for their particular claims. The fire marshal would've shut the place down.
And the students just looked at the professor with open jaws.
So the professor continued: But my main point is, that everyone was really nice to each other *because* we had done that icebreaker. It had been icy the *entire* semester. So, while driving here today, I thought, let's do the icebreaker the *first* day this time.
And the students smiled.
The professor pointed to the first student, asked her to stand: Introduce yourself to everyone. 5 things: Mother's maiden name, ATM pin, place of birth, your major, and five/ten year goals.
And we went around the room like that.
And after that, the students said, what's your name.
You can call me professor. That'll do.
Are you going to tell us anything about yourself?, a student asked.
I have a lecture to give you today. But, I'll tell you briefly how I got my name.
Okay, the student said.
My mother gave it to me.
The students laughed.
Yes, but what is your name? a student axed.
The professor said, professor. That'll do. When I was born, my mother gave me my name. The nurse held me up, and my mother said, that'll do. And the other nurse wrote that down immediately on the birth certificate. "Thattledoo." So , like Cher, I only have one name. And they've been calling me Thattledoo ever since.
The students mouths were open again.
The professor continued: The nurse said she'd never seen this before. I was born wearing a used tuxedo. I mean, you could tell that it used to be , like, in style at some point in the past. But it was clearly a used tuxedo. It was gross because, you know, you're all moist and steamy. And I wasn't crying. So she delivers this tuxedo wearing kid who isn't crying, and my mother says, that'll do. And it stuck.
A student asked, where's the tuxedo now?
It was dry clean only, so it stayed dirty my entire childhood, and I could never fit into again anyway. I think we sold it at a garage sale when my parents lost their house in the mortgage crisis of '09.
And the students' mouths pretty much stayed open. But so did most of their eyes. So.
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Today, I'm going to present some basic epistemology to sort of plow the roads of our snowy minds, the professor said. We have an anti-intellectual culture, even on college campuses. Sometimes, especially on college campuses.
A few of the students nodded. And everyone seemed to agree. Which is itself kind of stunning, in a way. That everyone sees that. (Wow, what follows from that about who's running the campuses?).
And the professor gave a working definition of the parts of knowledge that are often confused. Truth is not the same thing as belief. Plato, et. al, was right about that. The relativists were wrong. And evidence is crucial , is context sensitive, and we need it here.
I think it's important to understand these things. You can hold an idea or argument up, in your mind. You can turn it around, and consider it from different angles. And you can do all of this without accepting it. Do you agree?
And they all agreed.
Good, the professor said.
We have an adversarial system. Especially in criminal law. Law school teaches you how to think adversarially. How to take a side, and to see it through. But, that's not primarily what we seek to do here. We seek to understand. We want to know. And truth is part of the definition of knowledge. We want to know the truth. We don't want merely to win. You can win an argument and not understand . We want to understand these things.
Each student looked at the professor as if they got what he was saying, but that it was in a foreign language. A foreign language that they , never the less, understood as a child. One that they connected with, even if remotely.
The professor said, any questions?
And there were none after the student in ROTC briefly defended Protagoras, but gave up quickly after contradicting himself. The professor offered help. Maybe the law of non-contradiction isn't true, because there is no truth. Maybe it's a white male construct. Is that helpful?
And it wasn't really that helpful, they quickly realized, to give white males the credit for logic. Because what does that mean about everyone else?
So, we landed back in common sense epistemology.
And the professor said, let's distinguish between two senses of "student." A student, correct me if I'm wrong, is one who seeks to understand.
Right?
And the students nodded. That sounds right.
Now, everyone, the professor continued, who is enrolled at this college to take classes is a student in the second sense of the term. But my guess is that many, perhaps even most, are not students in the first sense --the true sense--of the term.
And the students (in the second sense of the term) sitting there looked at the professor really looked at the professor. As if some kind of code had been broken. A code that controlled their minds and made them say stupid, childish things. They looked at the professor like innocent children. One student actually looked up from his phone at this point. And there was a good 20 seconds or so where they all looked at the professor, and then, away, toward the wall, or the ceiling, as if considering this for the first time.
What a shame, to be a mere student, but not really a student, during the one time in your life where you can truly focus, if you want to , on trying to understand, the professor said.
See you Wednesday.
This post was originally published to Facebook on Tuesday 23 Jan 2018 at 11:03 am
Copyright Lucas J. Mather, 2018
All Rights Reserved
To see a TRP episode on this subject matter, see “Two Types of Students,” published 31 May 2023 on Apple Podcasts from TRP website and YouTube Channel
Warmly,
Lucas J. Mather, Ph.D.
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