Names Honor the Dead

Thomas Jefferson was a racist, the student said. And so, anything named after him is honoring racism !

Is that so, the professor asked.

Yes, that is so, the student said.

I see, the professor said.

White people have RUINED North America.

[The professor rubbed his eyes]. I see.

So, you want to rename all those buildings? All those streets? All those cities, counties, etc.?

Yes, the student said. Because names honor the dead. We are forced to write those names, to say those names, when we send mail, or talk.

You send mail? the professor asked. Hallelujah! There is hope for the world.

I'm just sayin, the student said.

So, what about , like, Washington DC. That's named for George Washington. And he owned slaves. Rename that?

Yes! the student said.

Because, names honor the culture of the man.

Yes !

Okay, the professor said.

[It got silent].

We have a shady past, the professor said.

Should we rename the Washington Redskins?, the professor continued .

Redskins is racist, the student said.

So, both "Washington" and "Redskins" is racist, you're saying?

Yes!

And we need to rename them both?

Yes!

Because...names honor them.

Ye...well...yes!

Hode up.

[The professor smiled].

So, the Redskins are honored? And that is racist?

...it....it is a racial slur....like Pocahontas.

Pocahontas was a real person. Names of real persons are not a racial slur.

I mean, ...it....

That's the name of a team. They sell all sorts of stuff with that name on it to people who identify and cheer and root *FOR* the team. Why would someone self-identify as an N-word?

The student said, well, it's obviously a racial slur.

So , it's like rooting for the stupid N-words?

Well

And you spend 50 bucks on a jacket with where you identify yourself as a fan of the stupid N-words?

I mean....I see your point...but it...it's a racial slur.

You said that names honor. Right? You said Jefferson County¹ has to be renamed because it's named after Jefferson, and names honor, and so that name honors what it names, so we need to rename the County....

I...it...it says a color ! It....

Maybe they respect the courage and ferocity of the Indians. Ever think about that? The professor asked.

Native Americans, the student corrected.

Indians.

Native Americans.

I am native to America. I am native no where else. But I am not Indian. So, names honor, correct? They are honoring the Indians.

I mean, I can possibly see that, but....

But what? The professor asked.

But they were white . The namers of that team. Whites...

Can do nothing right? the professor asked.

Pretty much, the student said.

Do you know where I went to elementary school? Colorow Elementary. Do you know who Colorow was?

No. Some white guy obvi.

Interesting assumption, the professor continued. You are correct. Names do honor the dead.

So, who was he? How many people did he enslave?

None, that I am aware of.

So, who was he? the student axed.

He was born Comanche, but was raised Ute, and became a Chief of the Ute tribe.

Native American?

He was INDIAN for GOD's sake! And my elementary school, a government building in Jefferson County, was named after him!

[The student leaned back].

And by the way, the professor continued, an entire state is named after that Indian tribe. Or had you noticed the name UTAH on the Uniited States of America map??

[The student leaned back].

How many places are named after Indians? Ever been to Cheyenne, Wyoming? Or Maricopa County, Arizona? Or the Mohave Desert? or Waco, Texas ? or Massachusetts? Or Manhattan? or Witchita, Kansas ? How about pretty much any of the small towns in Wisconsin?

[Photo: 6th Grade graduation signature book for Colorow Elementary School in Littleton, Colorado (near Columbine, High School), Jefferson County,² Colorado, 1987, featuring Ute Indian Chief Colorow, after whom the school is named, marked up by a newly-ex-6th-grader, Lucas J. Mather. Photo by Lucas J. Mather].

They are all named after India....Native Americans?

Yeah.

But ....that's cultural appropriation. That's racist!

[Professor face palms]. And what culture did you appropriate that thought from?

I don't know.

You just said, names honor the dead. You just said that.

[The professor continued]. And you still want to rename Lake Winnipesaukee from "What About Bob?" ???

I love that movie, another student said.

I haven't seen that movie, most of the other students said.

The Indians didn't grow out of the ground like wild flowers, people. The boundaries of the 2,000 tribes , as we know them, were only the latest boundaries as they were discovered by my ancestors. But they had warriors before white people got here. What's that tell you?

They were fighting each other?

They were fighting each other, very good. For a long time. And the weaker tribes died. In the struggle for survival. It was a mean, brutal world.

And now, professor? the student said.

And now, you bitch about renaming Jefferson County, because you aren't worried about someone shoving a hatchet up your ass as you sip your latte and fail to learn basic US geography.

[They think on these things].

So, another student piped up, we have stuff named after racists -- honoring racists -- but also named after Indian tribes and people that the racists hate.

Yep.

That's a mixed bag.

Yep, the professor said. But what are you going to do to make the world a better place? You have to go beyond the level you're at now.

[They thought about this for a long time].

Here's what I would suggest, respectfully, the professor said. Lay off the political correctness. Put off your incoherent relativism and hatred of whites. Think more deeply. Learn all you can about history, philosophy, politics, law, religion, theology, geography. Study, for God's sake.

[And they thought about that some more.]

No other professor challenges us like you do, professor, she said, later. And she left.

[The professor gathered his things and went to get hot water for his coffee, and to show them the Ds and Fs on their quizzes they didn't study for, while he waited out the Lost Angeles traffic].

Copyright Lucas J. Mather, 2017
All Rights Reserved
Originally published to Facebook Friday 1 Dec. 2017 at 11:53 pm

1. One county over is Arapahoe County, named after and honoring an Indian tribe.

2. See footnote 1.